Welcome back ladies and gents. This is the final installment of our tale as you can probably tell from the title. I swear this is the last one. Hope you enjoy reading it.

Catching his breath as he entered a clerk looked over from nearby. “May I hel…. Dude are you okay?” Evo looked up. “Yes good sir I am quite fine, but I am here on a quest.” The clerk raised an eyebrow.  ”I am here to pick up the copy of  Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor Overclocked for the 3DS.” Evo continued. The clerk quickly returned to the counter. “Yeah, sorry dude we just sold it.” Evo practically fell to his knees in disbelief. The clerk smiled sheepishly and spoke again. “Just kidding, we have been holding it all morning for you.” Evo let out a sigh of relief and approached the counter and pulled out his debit card. The clerk still chuckling at his ruse asked “Will that be debit or credit?” Finally, Evo would have his prize. After all that journeying, he would have his grail. Confidently, he said “Debit”.

“Declined?! What do you mean declined?!” Evo remarked confused. The clerk looked back at him. “I can run it again if you want.” Thus the process began anew. Again, declined. “Try it again…?” Evo stammered in disbelief at how could this be happening. Three strikes and you’re out, declined again. “What the bloody hell is going on?!” Evo looked about exasperated. “I just checked my balance…” then he paused and pulled out his phone once more to check his balance. $24.41. A shadow fell over his face. “FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUU!!!” he groaned realizing that in the time that had passed since he had so diligently checked his balance, his scheduled payment for another credit card had just cleared.

WWWHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?

“What am I supposed to do now?” he thought to himself. He had come so far and the game was right there and yet so very, very far away. Angrily, he shoved his phone into the central pocket of his hoodie. At that point, at that very moment he heard a familiar crinkle. Oh that glorious crinkle! Like angels singing in the heavens above! Shaking, he placed his hand into the pocket and pulled out a miraculous wad of green treasure. He slowly unwrapped the bills like that special present on Christmas morn. The first a five… he held his breath… the second, a twenty. He grinned wider than a Cheshire Cat. Victory would be his this day. VICTORY… WAS AT HAND.

He had done it! He had purchased the game. The clerk smiled then and shook his head laughing at the look of pure accomplishment washing over Evo’s face. Proudly, he strolled out of the store and back to his car. The deed was done. Just as he was about to unlock his car his phone began to ring. Evo’s head cocked askew as he did not recognize the number. “Hello?” He answered. The voice on the other end of the line sounded familiar, like he had just heard it. “Is this Joshua Evo?” Evo responded “Yes this is he…” The voice continued. “Yeah, you were just in the game store and you forgot your game.” “SON OF A !@#$%^” Evo exclaimed. “I’ll be right there!” and just like that, Evo turned right back around. It seemed that his ordeal of a quest was not over just yet.

Ashamed and head hanging low, Evo returned to the game store. The clerk dangling the bag from one of his fingers laughing. “Forget something?” Evo grumbled “Yeah yeah…” Before could take the bag from the clerk the clerk pulled it away. “I have an idea. Hold out your wrist…” Evo was puzzled but begrudgingly complied. The clerk then looped the bag around Evo’s wrist securing it into place by tying yet another bag on. “There!” The clerk smiled, clearly pleased with his work. Evo laughed “Thanks, guy.” and once again he strolled back to his car.

Collapsing into the driver’s seat he rested his head back. “I did it.” Evo smiled. Sitting up, he went to put his key in the ignition when something caught his eye. His eyes instantly widened. How could he have not noticed until now? His fuel gauge was practically on empty and he still had another 2 hour drive left to get back. But he had no money! Whatever would he do? Panic started to set in. Would he be stuck here? How would he get home? When was the last time he ate anything?

Sometimes the food comes to you.

Ah yes… Grilled Chesse at 7 pm… Yesterday. Crap. Back to the point. “I don’t wanna get stuck here…” he groaned. “Well here goes nothing! Hopefully, I will make it to the gas station” he mused and turned the key. The soft roar of the engine was reassuring for now but how long would it last? He stroked the dashboard softly. “Just keep on purring, baby” he commented as he began to pull out of the parking space. Thankfully, a gas station was not far away. As he pulled up to the pump, he wondered if he had enough money to pay for the fuel that would get him home. Sadly, Evo realized he did not.

Evo started thinking… and thinking… and thinking. Finally, he remembered that he had a card tucked away in the moth-ridden recesses of  his wallet. A card linked to a shared account that was ONLY to be used in case of emergencies. This definitely qualified as an emergency! He could take money out now and pay it back later. Joyfully, he removed the card from his wallet and proceeded to saunter over to the ATM. Once there, he inserted the golden card into the machine and withdrew the princely sum of 6000 copper coins (pennies for those of you who don’t know coin composition and 60 dollars for those of you who suck at math). Bounty in hand, he approached the cashier and declared “40 dollars of gas for my chariot! Oh yes, that’s on pump 7.” He looked at the 20 dollars he had remaining. “THIS DAY, I FEAST” and with that he left the very confused cashier behind ne’er to think of him again.

Vrrroooomm… sputter sputter… Just kidding. The car started just fine, for Evo was not stranded. But alas, was dismayed that he could not find a location near him at which to quell his hunger and Evo had a long journey ahead of him. Once, home he would rest and most likely play some relaxing (albeit in his words, ‘frustrating as all hell’) games of Street Fighter x Tekken and call it a night. He hit the highway. Then he hit the traffic… Now with the ever increasing pit of hunger growing in his stomach what would our hero do? Nothing. The poor guy sat in traffic for a grueling FOUR hours before he hit familiar turf.

After the long trek, Evo was home… finally. With game in hand and five-dollar-footlong- meatball sandwich in the other (this WAS a Tuesday after all), he was home. After securing the loot on his bookshelf, he turned on the television, powered up the PS3 and gracefully (well, not really) dove on to his bed. Unwrapping that glorious footlong (it’s a sandwich, get your mind out of the gutter), tears began forming as he brought the gigantic footlong to his mouth (can’t unsee it now can you?). After taking a bite, Evo paused and smiled to himself. He got up out of his bed and looked toward the ceiling and thrust a clenched fist into the air.  ”I AM A GOD AMONGST MORTALS!” he bellowed. The rest of his evening and the events leading up to him giving me the game were rather uneventful and boring. The End.

Obligatory explosion required for all epic tales.

Ah, yes… I forgot to address one last thing. Why, oh, why did little Evo not buy the game on the internet? He claims it’s because it didn’t occur to him until I started writing this article. My professional opinion? He lives for the challenge.

Oh yeah one last thing.. I have since traded it in for store credit. I’m an asshole. Just kidding. I’m not THAT mean.

As promised here is my next installment of the saga. Continuing from where we left off.. Read part one again if you are lost. Actually just read part 1 again. Well what are you waiting for? Enjoy.

Wait… No he wasn’t. Again, about to exit the complex he realized that he had forgotten something vital, something he needed to obtain the game: his wallet. “!@#$%^&*” he cursed louder, this time turning the car around yet again and stormed back into the house. He grabbed his wallet angrily and walked outside yet again. As the door was swinging shut about to close, he spotted something shiny on the washing machine, something oddly shaped like his keys. “OH !@#$%^&” he exclaimed thrusting his poor pinky finger in between the door and the frame knowing full well that if that door shut he would be locked out and all would be for naught.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” he cried as a sharp pain shot through his finger. Pushing the door open and grabbing his keys as he shook out the pain in his finger. Laughing slightly as he rubbed his hand, he thought to himself  ”The things I put myself through…” and finally with that last thought he was finally on his merry way.

Last known photograph of Evo’s front door.

Surprisingly, traffic was light that fateful Tuesday and Evo was making good time. After about an hour he was halfway to his destination and he finally began to settle down. This alerted him to the fact he was still wearing his Superman pajama bottoms and an old “Hadouken” Heineken T-shirt. “Great… I look like such trash” he thought to himself as he reached into the backseat to grab a hoodie sweatshirt. Not  five minutes passed when he was struck with another thought, a very unpleasant thought. “Bank account!” Rapidly, he grabbed his phone and checked his balance… $62.41. Relieved, he put his phone down and continued on his brave quest. Just another hour to go and he would have his prize.

How is that a prize? It’s just a !@#$% carboard b… wait I can make a fort now? HELL YEAH

He arrived at the game store around noon, plenty of time to spare. After parking, he gleefully strolled into the store and right up to the counter. “May I help you?” the clerk behind the counter asked. “Yes.” Evo replied. “I am here to pick up the copy of  Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor Overclocked for the 3DS that was being held for me.” The clerk typed something into the computer. “Yeah, we don’t have that here.” Evo panicked. “What? You sold it already!? I was told it was being held for me!” The clerk chuckled slightly. “I think you just got the wrong store. You probably want the store in a strip mall across town.” Evo blinked as if in disbelief. “Figures…” he shrugged and asked for directions. Checking the time he winced as he didn’t know the area that well and time was now working against him. Returning to his car, he was soon once again on his way.

The clock read 12:30 PM when Evo pulled into the parking lot of the strip mall. Taking no chances, he hastily parked and nearly jogs into the store. Once again, he walked straight up to the counter but this time not even allowing time for a greeting he says “I am here to pick up the copy of  Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor Overclocked for the 3DS”. The clerk looks up at him confused. Evo’s heart sinks just a little. The clerk taps away on the keyboard of the computer. “We don’t have a copy but the game store in the mall right across the way does.” “!@#$” Evo curses under his breath and storms out of the store. Looking at the mall, he realizes he doesn’t have much time and certainly not enough to find a parking spot and navigate the mall in order to find the store. In that moment he realized what he must do… he must run!

Despite this, he ran. He ran SO far away.

And run he did. He did not wait for signals to cross, nor did he care. He couldn’t have come all this way for nothing and nothing would stop him now. The mall, a looming, daunting monstrosity of consumerism lay before him. Which entrance did he want? Which one would put him the closest to his destination? Which door he chose could lead to success or utter failure. Evo would not be defeated. Charging ahead, he chose the closest entrance to him. Upon entering and looking around, he saw to his delight, that glorious beacon that was the game store directly in front of him. “Oh thank GOD!” he whispered, running out of breath as he ran that last 20 yards into the store.

Will our hero succeed? Will he ever get his prize? Tune in next time. Same bat-time same bat channel.

Disclaimer: This story, while true, has had SOME creative license applied to it. I hope you like it.

Now as none of you probably know, my birthday has just recently passed. For this post, I will share the tale (as it was told to me) of just how Joshua Evo acquired a gift for yours truly. So settle in folks, it’s going to be a wild ride.

So let me begin with some background information:

1.  I own a Nintendo 3ds

2. I am a fan of Shin Megami Tensei games

3. Joshua is a sneaky sneaky person….

Moving on, when I first got my 3DS, I went venturing into the realms of the internet to look for games that I might possibly consider worth my time to play. I came to the conclusion that actually, there weren’t many games that I wanted to purchase or play for that matter. But among the legions of titles of crap deemed not worth my time, there was one that caught my eye. That game was Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor Overclocked. Now this part is important; I SAID this to Evo ONCE and that was MONTHS before my birthday.

Little did I know…

Shin Megami Tensei: DSO is not an easy game to find in stores, so you’re probably asking yourself why didn’t I just purchase the game myself in the happy fun land of the internet filled with daisies and daffodils. I didn’t because of a few reasons,

1. I don’t like to wait for things to ship,

2.  I think there is something satisfying about finding a game you want in the store.

3. The mean streets of the internet are no place for my account information and the tiny balance that it stands for.

Now, you may want to ask why Evo did not simply purchase the game on the internet either. Well, we will just have to get to that later.

So it begins. It was a fairly nice weekend and Evo had gone to visit his cousin, and after a day of frolicking and smoothies, Evo frolicked his way into a game store. Then a thought popped into his mind. “Jessica’s Birthday!” he mused to himself, proceeding to frolic over to the clerk at the checkout counter.  ”Do you good sir, by chance have a copy of Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor Overclocked for the 3DS?” The clerk shook his head slowly “Sorry, but we sold our last copy yesterday.” Evo stood downtrodden for a moment, then made another inquiry to the clerk. “Do you know where the closest store is that has a copy?” The clerk let out a sigh then began typing away at his computer. After a few brief moments he replied ”The closest copy is 6 and a half hours South of here.” Evo’s eyes widened as he thought to himself… “NOPE!” Defeated, he left the store, no longer frolicking as he returned to his humble abode.

…

Time passes… Evo suddenly finds himself  at his local game store. While there, a familiar thought passes through his mind whilst talking to his friend who happened to be Assistant Manger of the aforementioned game store:  ”Jessica’s Birthday!” So, Evo decided then and there to ask for a favor. “I say, it is awfully difficult to find Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor Overclocked for the 3DS. Would you do me a favor and let me know if it passes through these parts?” To which his friend replied “Most certainly my good man”. After wrapping up, Evo decided it was time to go home. He did not frolic. Here now ladies and gentlemen, is where s!@# is about to get real.

More time passes… Evo lay asleep in his bed on a fateful, rainy Tuesday morning.  As he lay peacefully dreaming of the soft glow of a LED screen and the constant clacking of buttons on a fight stick, a familiar tune jarred him awake. “Go away Nyan Cat, I’m sleeping!” he mumbled while groggily swatting at the source of this disturbance. It took a few more seconds for him to realize it was in fact his phone trying to tell him he was receiving a call. “Hello?” Evo yawned after answering the call. A frantic voice met with his still sleepy mind.  ”It WAS here! They cut my hours so I didn’t know but it was here!”  ”What was where now what?” Evo shook his head to clear the remaining sleep away. “The game that you wanted me to look out for, Devil Survivor Overclocked it was here!” Evo bolted upright, “Great! Is it still there?” There was a pause on the other end of the line. “We shipped it out yesterday to another store…” Evo let out a sigh, but not being one to be defeated so easily he asked, “Could you call the other store and tell them to hold it for me?” Another brief pause on the other end of the line “Already done.. there is just one problem…”

“What is it?” Evo’s voice quivered slightly.  ”Well… they can only hold the game until 1 PM and…” Evo’s friend nervously began. “And what…?” he asked. His friend finally replied by saying “It’s a two and half hour drive for you WITHOUT traffic and seeing how it’s already 9 AM you are going to be cutting it close.” Evo jumped out of bed and chaotically started heading for the door.  After saying a quick goodbye and receiving a text with the directions to the location he was well on his way.

Wait… No he wasn’t. As he rushed to get out of the driveway, one of the pillars that holds up the awning over the driveway took a hit. No, no not once.. but twice. After that debacle, Evo almost made it out of his complex before realizing that he forgot his phone. “!@#$%” he cursed to himself as he turned the car around. Finally after grabbing his trusty sidekick of a phone, he was on his way.

To be continued… I promise…